it is somehow frustrating to write a blog but to know that it's not gonna interest anyone.
but why not? is the life of an other person annoying, boring, not important?
i don't want to leave a wrong impression of myself i don't want to make mistakes, don't want that anyone hates me. but although- i'm writing things in this blog i'd never do in my native language for example. don't ask me why [oh i know none's gonna do this anyway] but in english and here on deviantart i feel somehow free.
i just want to show the world my "art", how i feel, how i think, how i see the world, how i am. and this includes every stupid blog i write.

unfortunately i seem to lose my creativity. i want to make progress, want to touch the ppl outside to make them think of themselves, to touch... yeah, maybe to touch their souls [if they got one].

but the fact is, that i can only reach my aim if i got better. and as i said, at the moment, i don't.
i know i don't make any progress when i'm writing here and cry and what- do- i- know.

but maybe i don't just want to show other ppl how i am- maybe i also want to show myself, that i don't have to hide, that i'm proud of what i'm doing and that i have to become stronger.

ooooh yes xD

ok maybe i gonna work a bit and please- whoever is reading this: leave a comment or send me a little message or whatever. i'm not going to answer if you don't want, but it's good to know that someone was here xD

*a bit freaky today

enjoy the day~